Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
