i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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