Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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