your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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