do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Still dying that you shit outside
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
