it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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