He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
