I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
