YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
