He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
