I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Michael Bay diarrhea
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
