I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
