ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
