Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
