did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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