I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize