question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
