thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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