Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
