Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
