I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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