So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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