so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think people are normalizing furries
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
