porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
