He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize