what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
