Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
