So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
