I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You need Xanax blowdarts
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
