dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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