Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
