hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Sober January is a disaster.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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