So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
