I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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