okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
