Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
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i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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