try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
