I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize