I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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