Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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