cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
