he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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