dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
