Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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