WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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