i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
