Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
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Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
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Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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