For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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