Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
