shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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