ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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