Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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