So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
