real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize