i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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