I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
