and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Alive.
So much puke
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
