if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
