I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Terrible idea I love it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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